As an Amazon Associate I earn from qualifying purchases. This post may contain affiliate links. See my full disclosures, Terms of Use, and privacy policies on my "privacy" page.
Flickr Photo Credit: Peggy2012CREATIVELENZ
It’s 9:15 pm.
The kids are all asleep finally, and I’m debating whether I should fold the laundry, write a blog post, or snuggle up with a good book. Looks like the blog post won – but it’s really an explanation of sorts.
I haven’t been writing. I’ve tried to write this post 15 times to explain why, but the words just don’t seem to come out right.
What it really boils down to is this: I’m just tired. When I’m tired, everything else is affected.
More than that, though, I feel like I’ve dropped the ball a bit in the parenting department. Part of it is ‘mommy guilt‘ and I still have much to learn about grace. But there is a ribbon of truth woven through those feelings: I’ve been trying to do too much for this season.
“I live a Walmart life. I do a lot of things, but none of them particularly well,” Kat wrote, articulating what I’ve been struggling to express: I’m done living a WalMart life.
There are many things I want to write about – so many ideas that God has pressed on my heart. But time is running through my fingers, and I want to manage it well, giving the best of me to God and to my family. I’m done living a WalMart life.
I want to be Super Mom, but I’m not. I’m learning that there are things I can do, and things I can’t — and I’m learning to be okay with that.
So this is a long-winded way of saying: Though I love this community and sharing in this space, during this season of life, there will be some weeks that I write every day, and some weeks I might not write at all.
Maybe I don’t need to announce that, but I think it goes back to those expectations I mentioned a few months ago — I want to be up front with you because I care for you, and I care that you’re here. Even when I’m not writing often, I’m still thinking of you and praying for you and so, so grateful for this community.
So these past few weeks, I haven’t been writing, but I’ve been living. I have had so much fun engaging with my kids, relaxing with my husband, and soaking in good books! We went away, and we had family in. We’ve gone on treasure hunts and car rides. We’ve made dessert and told stories and laughed a lot.
Those things will continue, and writing will, too; just maybe at a different pace.
Question for you:
Have you ever struggled with keeping your priorities in line? Where did you cut back?
So much of what you share is exactly what I’ve been feeling in this recent season. I tire of the Wal-Mart life too. Yet, as someone with multiple interests, it’s hard to decide where to cut back without feeling like I’m cutting out part of myself. Recently, I’ve tried freeing myself of expectations when it comes to blogging and putting my etsy shop on vacation for I don’t know how long. This helps, but I constantly turn to God in prayer, asking Him to help me find my way daily.
I think its wonderful that you are committed to keeping your priorities straight. We can never go back and make our children little again. We’ve only been given one stage in life when they are small.
Yes…I have definitely been there Erika! Good for you for recognizing it and slowing down. :) My problem is that I cut things back, and then because I feel like I now have “free time” – I end up filling it back up with other stuff! Ack! I went through a book a couple of years ago that helped me to identify the top 5 priorities, and I tried to use that to gauge what I was committing myself to, and see if it lined up with those priorities. If it didn’t line up, even if it was something good, I tried not to commit to it. I failed sometimes (okay a bunch), but it gave me something to go back to when I was feeling overwhelmed, and was looking for things to cut. :-)
I’ve taken weeks off here and there from both blogging and reading blogs. It seems to me that sometimes it’s staying so “plugged in” that keeps me from feeling like I’m giving the best to my family and even to myself. Thank you for sharing this today!
Amen! My kids are getting older. On one hand it’s nice. On the other… :( So I fill up days volunteering at school. I stay too busy. I’m a GS Leader for both girls. I wasn’t going to be on my mom’s board again…I am now. Small position. Oldest and I are doing NCL. And on and on. Trying to get my house decluttered. I keep telling myself to start saying no more. So cutting back where I can. It’s not easy. Keep family and God at the top of the list. Before adding more to your plate, you have to get rid of something else. Create a schedule that works for you. If something is only getting done because you are squeezing it in….maybe you shouldn’t be doing it (and no laundry doesn’t count in that regards!). But if it’s the blog, or filling in for someone, or etc….back off of it.
Erika,
I hear your heart on this. I am also feeling the tension and have no words of wisdom. I am praying fos us both that we’ll find peace, embrace grace and stop juggling so much so we can hold
On to what matters. Love your heart. Praying for you, sweet friend!!
You are wise to recognize and listen to what your heart and tired body are telling you…praying you will experience His grace and wisdom as you navigate through this process…
Blessings to you, Erika …
Hi dear friend! I read this last week and could relate to so much of what you had just written. Especially after a month that you gave so much time to leading us all in praying for our children… you are bound to be tired. Thank you for allowing Christ to work in your heart so that He can guide you in the right steps each day. I appreciate your heart and your honesty!
Praying you are having a blessed week with that cute family of yours!
Jessica
(Oh, and I am in town… a last minute, we weren’t sure if it would work out trip. :) I’ll email you!)
Dear Erika,
I don’t know you… but I so appreciate your heart in this post!!
Yes, I have often, almost daily, struggled with priorities. There is only so much time, and there are so many decisions to make!
I pray this helps you… it helps me when I do it…
Do what you KNOW God has called you to do right now, today(i.e. feed the kids, hug them etc.), and trust that He will line out your “extra” time. It’s okay if you don’t write everyday/often for a season. Even a very, very long season. I know you know… just seeing it in black and white can help.
Jesus adores you. He is so pleased with you. His embrace is long and gentle and He will not let you go. Breathe Him in deeply, sweet sister!
Blessings,
Elise
oh, erika, OF COURSE you’re tired. i took off my super mom cape some time ago. i gave up some chores (i had to become okay with my husband doing the laundry.) and i gave up some church meetings. and i talked myslef into being okay with it. and i rested. praying for you right now (and wishing i had read this earlier….)
Each one of you has blessed me immensely with your words, your prayers, your encouragement. Thank you for being Sisters and friends.
*love*