I felt the anxiety rise within me: the dishes, the laundry, the obligations, the whimpers, the needs … overwhelming and crushing and extinguishing.
I forgot. Forgot to give thanks. Forgot to serve and love and give thanks in all circumstances. Forgot to choose joy and walk in victory.
Somewhere from far away, I heard the words tumble out of my mouth, restive and curt.
“Mommy has no more patience left, Little Girl. None. Mommy is completely out of patience, so you need to just sit down and wait. Please obey.”
As quickly as the words poured out, conviction pushed in.
I tried to ignore it, justifying my attitude and attempting to move on … pretending.
But overwhelming my mind and heart was the very clear voice of the Holy Spirit reminding me that His fruit is patience (Galatians 5:22).
How often I have declared my lack of patience: a warning to those around me and a plea to act appropriately! Yet, the reality is that in my own strength, those words are precisely true — I do not have patience enough.
But I am not called to live in my own strength. I am called to abide, to rest, to see to it that no one misses the grace of God.
As quickly as the words tumbled out, her eyes fell, the hurt great, and His voice spoke.
In that moment — God spoke to me.
There in my kitchen, wiping food from the floor, God spoke with Truth and grace.
And I broke, laying down my yoke, and picking up His. Claiming His power and His promise. I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength.
Oh, Little Girl, Mommy is so sorry. I wasn’t patient, and I was short-tempered with you, and that was wrong of Mommy. I am so sorry, Little One. Will you forgive me?
Our evening was changed. My heart was changed. And even my girl was changed.
The fruit of God’s Spirit includes patience, and when we feel we have none left to give, may we be women who fall on the grace of God, trusting him to be strong in our weakness!
Question for You ::
What’s one area that tends to trigger your impatience at home?
Those are tough days…I remember saying that a few times to my kiddos, too. If only I could remember that His strength is made perfect in my weakness. So, it is probably good when my patience is out because then I can rely on God’s patience doing a work in me.