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It didn’t come out the way I wanted.
Short words kindled from a shorter fuse.
and when the explosion comes
and the words rip through,
hearts are hurt,
emotions damaged,
little minds made up.
I can’t take them back:
these anger words flung from my tongue,
attacking,
punishing,
breaking
my child down.
And Lord, I knew!
I knew the length of the fuse grew shorter
as the day stretched on.
Events and behaviors and reactions all tumbled and tired and taxed.
And, Lord, I tried!
I tried to slow down, stop short, hold my breath–
but the breath that I held only fed the spark
traveling the fuse,
fueling the fire
ticking
ticking
ticking.
I don’t want my fuse to lead to a fire,
igniting the flames,
detonating the bomb.
I want my fuse to lead to You!
to sizzle, fizzle, fade away.
Anger defused.
Words disarmed.
patience
love
grace.
Lord, I want to give them grace.
Have you ever struggled with a short fuse and quick temper?
I’d like to blame it on lack of sleep, post-pregnancy hormones, and my need for a bit more margin, but the truth is, “out of the overflow of the heart, the mouth speaks” (Luke 6:45).
Don’t get me wrong, all of the explanations I just listed are valid and true, but so often I use them as excuses and brush past the real issues.
The truth is: “Man’s anger does not bring about the righteous life that God desires” (James 1:20). I’ve been wrestling with that truth for many months now.
Lord, make me “quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to become angry” (James 1:19)!
Question for You:
What “short fuse” do you struggle with most?
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Can you relate? Here are a few helpful resources I’ve found.
- Addressing Anger Journal
- Good and Angry: Exchanging Frustration for Character in You and Your Kids!
- Overcoming Emotions that Destroy: Practical Help for Those Angry Feelings That Ruin Relationships
- Unglued: Making Wise Choices in the Midst of Raw Emotions
by Lysa TerKeurst
- Are there any others you would recommend? Let me know in the comments below.
noise and irresponsibility. hmmmm. and i have tennagers. and teach teenagers. i find myself grouching a lot.
Thank you for sharing this. I needed this. God has definitely shown me that I struggle in this area and your words, scriptures and resources are a great encouragement as I allow God to change my first reaction as he changes my heart.
So thankful this spoke to you. Praying for you right now, Allison.
I would highly recommend She’s Gonna Blow by Julie Ann Barnhill and another one I just bought but have not read yet, Letting Go of Anger by Annie Chapman. I just started reading Unglued and reallylike it. Just hope I find time to read it. I have lots of opportunity to set off my time bomb. Just need Jesus to help me find a way to not let it go off. Thanks for being real.
ooo, I’ve heard of “She’s Gonna Blow” but haven’t read it yet.
I find that for me, my fuse is shortest when I’m either short on sleep or when I haven’t been consistent in the Word and quiet time with God. Those are big triggers for me.
Thank you for this reminder today. My fuse has been getting shorter & shorter lately & I really needed the reminder that “out of the overflow of the heart, the mouth speaks.” There is daily frustration with a 4,3 & 1 year old that I expect, but without Grace & Love firmly planted in my heart first thru really spending time studying the Word & listening to the Lord, the frustrations quickly build to an explosion that they don’t deserve & doesn’t help anyone. I needed the push to deal with it & your post today was definitely the Holy Spirit prodding my heart to make a change. Thank you.
So thankful, Kirsten, that God used this in your life. I can so relate to what you wrote in your comment. My little ones are 4, 2.5, and 5 mos. This is a wonderful but hard season, requiring constant energy, creativity, attention, patience … I could keep going! :) You know how it is. When I’m not refueling by spending time with God, the tank is empty and I’m much more likely to respond out of frustration rather than love. So thankful that it’s not ME mustering up the grace or patience, it’s the Holy Spirit working through me. Praying for you tonight. We CAN do all things through CHRIST who gives us the strength!